Thursday, December 29, 2011

The hockey game

I took Walker and Anderson to the Monsters game last night as one of their Christmas presents.  On the way up I asked Anderson if he knew how hockey was played.  He said, "Yeah, you just skate around, and try to get the hockey pickle in the goal."

We had pretty good seats, right by where the Zamboni machines come out, and each of the boys got to take home a puck that the team had used during warm-ups, so that was cool.  Anderson got to give the mascot five a couple of times, too.  Also we got to see one of the Monsters get a hat trick (I think his name was Ogdnezwoloski or something) and the Monsters won, 6-5, in overtime, so pretty good night.  No really good fights, though.  Actually, I'm just making fun of Hockey names.  His real name is Jessiman.  Though their goalie's name is Desjardins.  Now Anderson wants to be a hockey player, which I think would be pretty cool but very expensive, especially with the dental bills and all.

Me:  Caroline, do you like Christmas?
Caroline:  Yeah.
Me:  Do you like singing Christmas songs?
Caroline:  Yeah.
Me:  Do you like getting presents?
Caroline:  Yeah.
Me:  Do you like Santa Claus?
Caroline:  NO!

I asked her where she thought Santa was and she said, "Santa Claus is at the workin' shoppin'."

Favorite presents from this year:
Walker - Sports Illustrated for Kids subscription
Ellie - Art case
Anderson - A mail box
Caroline - A sweeper
Parents - a mini-trip to Chicago and Mainly Stuff the Kids Say, hardback.  Pretty cool, now we can consider ourselves published authors (yeah, that's a stretch). 

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Mostly Caroline's latest

Anderson:  Broccoli?  What's broccoli?  OH, Broccoligreentrees!

Caroline's current understanding of winter:
There are socks on our fireplace.
She loves "snow boats" (snow globes)
The first thing she said to me the other morning when she woke up:  My eyes are cold.

Also, she brought me some gloves and said, "Dad, here's your lady bugs!"
Me:  Thanks, they're called gloves.
Caroline:  OK, glumps.

File under miscellaneous:
  • 1 - the most goats I've ever seen in the back of an Oldsmobile Silhouette.
  • Political correctness displaces intelligence.  I heard on the radio the other day that a car dealership is giving away a free "Holiday Ham" with a test drive.  You know, so as to not alienate their Muslim and Jewish customers.
  • That reminds me:  We went to a Mexican restaurant for lunch yesterday and they had a Christmas tree in the waiting area.  I said to a co-worker, "A Christmas tree?  They're Mexican."  He bit.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Name That Food

Okay, here we go.  See if you can guess the foods, as Caroline says them:
1. Wugoo
2. Chewie
3. Ochie
4. Betchoo
5. Mo
6. Choooo
7. Cheeee
8. Cukoo

Also, in case we haven't documented this yet, her names for her siblings are:
"Day" - Walker
"Baby" - Ellie
"Bye" - Anderson
Don't ask us why, we don't know.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

A few new memories

You know how sometimes you're holding one of your kids and then you put it down and forget you were holding it and a little while later you're like "why is there poop on my arm?"

Recounting vacation before a cup of coffee:
So we just got back from as much of a vacation as you can take with a 7, 5, 3, and 1 year old.  Ellie asked me 9 times in 2 hours if we were almost there and said "this is the second most bored I've ever been in my whole life".  We spent Sunday and Monday nights at Great Wolf Lodge, which is a nice place to go if you don't care if your kids get stolen or drown in recycled bathtub water.  There's plenty of room on the floor for kids to puke, and your admission comes with a you'll-see-at-least-14-fat-people's-butt-cracks-or-your-money-back guarantee.  Tuesday, we went to Kelley's Island and got ice cream, played putt putt, and ate dinner (you know, things that we couldn't have possibly done save for the fact that we spent $70 to be surrounded by seagulls and polluted water).  And Wednesday, we spent 6 hours walking around in the sun from one giant animal toilet to the next, listening to and reading left-wing propaganda about deforestation and poaching kangaroos.  Walker hated it, Ellie loved it, Anderson tolerated it, and Caroline basically stared at people's butts all day, I guess.  We topped all that off with an Indians game, where Caroline got a cup of beer spilled on her right before she peed all over Carla, where Anderson kept kicking the guy in front of us until he left, where Ellie sat and colored and asked who we were playing in the 4th inning, where I fought off a migraine, and where a fat guy sat beside/on me the whole time.

Recounting vacation after a cup of coffee:
So we left Sunday morning for vacation, stopping at Cracker Barrel on the way (that's right, vacation from Jesus, too).  We all ate 'till we were stuffed full of eggs, french toast, bacon, sausage, biscuits, and greeits, then we headed out to Great Wolf Lodge, where we spent Sunday and Monday nights.  That place is really nice for little kids.  There are a bunch of giant, twisty water slides that almost everyone can go on, even Anderson.  He loved them, by the way, even the pitch-black tunnel ones.  There's a swimming pool/basketball court, a water/tree house thing, a baby pool with a couple of "weesides" for Gracie, a boring lazy river, and a "warmtub" that whole families are allowed to use.  There's story time for the kids every night in front of an animatronic forest thing (which Walker hated, Ellie loved, Anderson tolerated, and Caroline slept through, I think), and there's a pretty good (but expensive) breakfast buffet, where the wait staff just keeps bringing you food.  There's also an arcade area where we earned enough tickets (122) for a few handfuls of tootsie rolls.  We were only 16,878 tickets away from earning a Wii. 

Tuesday, we took the Jet Express, which the kids really enjoyed, from Sandusky to Kelley's Island.  Ellie especially liked it when we sat outside on the top deck so she could "see the views".  We rented a golf cart on the island, which was really nice.  Carla rode on the back with Walker, Anderson, and Caroline for the grand tour.  All three of those kids fell asleep on top of Carla while Ellie stayed wide eyed up front with me.  We visited the glacial grooves, which we decided Curious George would have loved because it looked like a giant bowling alley.  Then we played putt putt and went to dinner at the Kelley's Island brewery where we got great local perch and great local beer.  We made it back just in time to catch the Jet express back to the mainland and then drive to Cleveland.

Wednesday, we went to the Cleveland zoo and walked pretty much the whole thing.  We were there for a long time and saw just about everything.  Walker was the only one who really had a rough time.  He's not terribly interested in animals so he mainly complained about walking.  Ellie, on the other hand, could have run from one exhibit to the other for another couple hours.  She loved seeing all the different animals.  Finally, we went to the Tribe game, where we saw them crush the Tigers, where Jason Kipnis went 5-for-5 with a home run, where we got ice cream, saw Slider like 2 rows away from us, got to watch the car shoot T-shirts our way, and even got Gracie a cute little Indians cheer-leader outfit ('cause she peed all over Carla).  Best of all, I'll be the only one who remembers the horrible traffic/construction on the way home.

The moral of the story - Coffee makes everything better.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Anderson's latest (plus a bonus interpretation guide)

Anderson:  Mommy, there's a spider on the wall.
Carla:  No, that's just a fly.
Anderson:  Oh, is it gonna put it's lights on?
Carla:  No, flies don't have lights.
Anderson: Well, what about that one that's shaped like a cucumber?
Carla:  I'm not sure what that is, Anderson.
Anderson:  It's a night bee.
It was a fire fly.

Walker, playing Wii baseball:  Dad, I just got a grand slam!
Anderson:  And he got a home run, too!  I heard about that!

Anderson, riding in the car with Carla, put a green beaded necklace across his lap.
Anderson:  I put my safety on.  It's green?
Carla, not looking:  What?
Anderson:  I interviewed it on my list.
Carla:  What?
Anderson:  I X'd it up.
We still don't know exactly what he meant, especially about the interview.

Bonus Section:  Interpretation guide

If Anderson tells you that you look skinny he really means that you have too much skin showing somewhere on your body.

For example, If you were walking around the house in your underwear, he might say, "Mom you look skinny" because you have too much leg skin showing. 
If you just shaved, he might come up to you, grab your face, rub it, and say, "Dad you look really skinny today."

So 2011, welcome to the new "skinny."

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Adenoids, tonsils, and tubes. Oh my! Part 1

Well, these were the pre-op pictures.  All smiles, of course.  Post-op we were too busy to take pictures.  Walker got shipped off just as Caroline was returning, and boy was she agitated.  They warned us that most kiddos are fussy for 30-60 minutes after the surgery, but they did not warn us that she would be violently screaming in a way we have never heard our sweet Gracie cry in her life.  They also didn't tell us that we wouldn't be able to console her for 50 minutes until she wore herself out and collapsed on my shoulder.  Aside from feeling sorry for our pitifully confused, aggressive, screaming child, we were humored by her on more than one ocassion.  At one point, she actually kicked Kurt out of the room by screaming in a shrill voice, "No, no Dada.  No, no Dada" over and over again until he left.  Then she cried for him to come back.  She also wagged her little finger in my face, repeating the same thing to me.  We tried everything we could think of from milk, pretzels, cookies, Dora books, and suckers to the bubbles and stuffed animal that the nurse gave us.  Needless to say, it was a long 50 minutes.

After she woke up from her 30 minute nap, she was the same pleasant Gracie that we know and love!  It was like nothing had even happened.  I guess she just needed to get all that yucky anesthesia out of her system.  The doctors and nurses were great, and I can't say enough about Alliance Community Hospital.  We felt very involved, informed, and well-cared for.  There was even a time when her oxygen levels dropped significantly, and they had to page the anesthesiologist while he was getting Walker ready, but he took great care of her and they came right back up without a problem.  We also know that we had lots of people praying for us, and the power of prayer is a mighty thing!

Today, a day and a half later, I am truly amazed at what a rapid and significant difference the tubes have made.  She has been blabbering all day, repeating almost everything I've said and putting together a few short sentences as well.  Here's what I've written down as her brand-new, post-tube words for the day:
How are you?
I'm good.
Come here.
Move back.
Let's go.
Nice ears.

A big, big thank-you to Dr. Kanagy :)

More about Walker tomorrow . . .

Friday, June 17, 2011

Happy Birthday, Uncle Bill!

We had a blast celebrating Uncle Bill's bday, 60's style!  The boys wore "Old School" tees with records on them.  Kurt (because he's such a cute nerd), opted to go as Gene Kranz, Flight Director of Apollo 13.  (Steph also said he looked like a TV character from "Mad Men.)  Ellie had a long, hippie-ish dress with braids and wavy hair.  Gracie and I had go-go type dresses.  I think I looked more like a flight attendant, but Caroline sure was cute.  The highlights of the night were Aunt Steph's yummy cakes and Uncle Bill playing the piano for us.  It was a lot of fun!  The last picture is of my sisters, Ellie, and me at the annual princess tea party at The Amish Door.  My mom was there, too.  She was the photographer!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011


Kurt has been working some crazy hours lately, and today he had to work his regular hours and then come home and sleep so he could go in for third shift.  He was in bed at 7:30, so I told the kids we all had to be super quiet.  I put Caroline to bed and took the boys outside for haircuts.  Ellie stayed in to color.  When I came in an hour later she had put Anderson's orange caution cones up in front of the bedroom door, along with a magnadoodle sign with the word "NO" and pictures of people yelling & noisy toys and a picture of Kurt sleeping.  She was so proud of herself!  Ellie has always had a heart of gold and would do anything to help someone.  I think she'll be a nurse someday :)

In other news of caution, Anderson had an interesting conversation with Kurt last night about a "flang shinger."  "A what?" Kurt said.  "You know, a thing that you brush your mouth off with," replied Anderson.  A.K.A a razor!

Nothing much new.  Walker is in basketball camp this week, baseball camp next week, and tomorrow we find out when he will be getting his tonsils out!

Monday, May 30, 2011


Ellie was telling Anderson why he should eat his carrots at lunch today-- (b/c they have vitamins and they're good for your eyes).  That must've got her thinking about vitamins because here's what followed:

Mom, did you know they have a body wash that has lots of vitamins that go deep down into your skin.  You know, so it can moisturize your skin!

She might be watching too much TV!

Monday, May 23, 2011

Quick Update

Caroline is now speaking in small sentences:

"DeeDoo, Mama." = Thank, you, Mama.  I'm the cutest toddler ever!
"Wee, sliiiii, bye-bye." = She want to put her shoes on (bye-bye) and go out to play on the slide.
"No, no, Day." = Stop it, Anderson (Day).  You're annoying me.
"Oh, hi, Rah-Rah, J.J." = Hi Walker J.J.  You're my favorite brother!

She also answers questions.
Me:  "Do you want to go see grandma?"
Gracie: "No, pay Dat-Dat, Mo-Mo, Baby Ni-Ni."  =  Forget about grandma.  I just wanna play with my cousins, Jack-Jack, Molly, and Baby Natalie!

She's sweet as ever and just melts my heart - except for when she's covered in snot and slobber from throwing a fit.  Oh, yes, she throws fits and hits now.  It's actually kinda funny, and we all have to try hard not to laugh when she puts on a performance. 

More to come soon on Walker and baseball.  He's playing Hot Stove for the Opening Day Destroyers and loving it!

You can also look forward to funny sayings and stories from Anderson's latest adventure riding on Thomas the Train with Grandma and Aunt Lisa. 

Lastly, Ellie is happy to have passed her second ice-skating class.  She is also eager to go to the next gymnastics class and start taking piano lessons in the fall.  Baseball ranks low on her list right now, but she is still happy to be playing.   She asked me, with tears in her eyes,  if she could keep going to school this summer b/c she will miss it too much.  I love that girl :)

Friday, May 6, 2011

Ellie and Anderson at their best!

 Ellie loves getting her picture taken.  She's a poser, and she eats it up!  This picture was, of course, by request!
 Here she is doing what she does best . . . singing/performing.  This was her end of the year preschool program.
 This is just Anderson doing what he does best - being imaginative and fun.  He also asked for tape to tape the box shut.  Not really sure how he was planning to do that from the inside, though!
Check out our amazing hats designed by none other than Elizabeth Jane Kandel.  Production was supported by Grandma Kandel.  And yes, we did rise and shine early to watch the big event :)

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

The Black Eyed Anderson

So we went to the zoo on Sunday to get our family pass (thanks to Groupon), and Anderson ran into one of those wooden pedestal things that looks like a plaque tipped forward on an angle . . . you know, the things that tell you the animal's name, habitat, diet, etc.  Now, when I say ran into, I don't mean he turned around a bumped it.  I mean he was barreling towards me from another exhibit and just totally smashed into it.  It laid him out.  I guess it was kind of eye level with him and he was looking at me,  so he didn't really see it.  It instantly swelled halfway shut and is now pretty shades of blue, black, and purple.  He was a tough guy considering how bad it must've hurt.  He told Kurt today, "Just call me Anderson-purple-eye, dad.  Cuz that's what I have."

While we were watching Ellie at ice-skating lessons today, Caroline said, "Hi baby" in a sweet little voice to an actual baby!  I was impressed, mostly because I didn't know she could even say baby, let alone identify one.

Walker just got another awesome report card and is starting Hot Stove next week.  He's about as excited as Walker can get.

Peace, yo.  I'm out.  (That's for you, Kurt.)

Monday, March 21, 2011

Words, words, words!

Caroline is exploding with words these last few days.  Here's what I can remember right now.
-dipo  (diaper)
-snaaa (snack)
-DeeDee (Andrea)
-rah rah (Hercules - Andrea's dog)

-yeah (yes)
-cack (quack)
-ni-ni (night-night)
-gama (grandma)

She also says "bye-bye da-da" anytime she sees Kurt put his shoes or coat on.  Very cute!

That's all for now . . .

Sunday, March 13, 2011

The Gross Just Keeps Coming

So here's one thing you never want to hear come out of the mouth of your 3 year old (from the bathroom):

"Mo-om. . . I just got my pants wet with a toot."  Gross!

On a lighter note, Caroline is saying more and more each day.  A few days ago, Anderson was happy about his chocolate chip waffles for breakfast and shouted an excited "BooYah!"  Caroline quickly followed with a "BooBah."  She also moo's and ruff's like a cow and dog, says "up, up, up, up" when you're trying to cook dinner (or any other activity that requires both hands), points to various body parts when named, LOVES to color in her high chair, and requests specific books at bedtime - depending on her mood the choices are Brown Bear, Clifford Goes Skating, Clifford's Bedtime, Blessing Everywhere, Where is Baby's Belly Button, Where is the Duck.  I just love that she has her own little personality and exerting her independence more every day.

Signing off for now with the greatest pictures of all time . . . Gracie giving THE LOOK!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Grossest post: Part 2

Welp, I spoke too soon.  Here's the status after I pushed out last night's post:
Carla - WAY sick
Me - still fine
Walker - woke up sick at 1 am
Ellie - woke up sick at 9 pm
Anderson - sick all night
Caroline - slept all night, thank God.

Unfortunately, she was the only one that got a good night's sleep.  Carla and the kids were up all night shouting at their shoes and I was on clean-up duty.  Between the two of us, Carla and I dumped out over 25 buckets, no exaggeration.  I had to do 3 loads of laundry in the middle of the night and clean up floors and furniture over and over.  I also used well over half a bottle of Purel in hopes of not catching this bug.  Of course, when you're elbow deep in flu byproduct all night, the odds are stacked against you.

Things calmed down after about 4 am, and everyone got a couple hours of solid sleep.  Of course, Caroline woke up at 6 and wanted to play with everyone.  I had to take her over to my mom and dad's for a while so she wouldn't re-catch this thing.  We're home now, and everyone seems to be doing quite a bit better.  Soup for lunch and TV all day should get them back on their feet pretty soon.  I sure am glad I already had planned to take today off work because of the surgery.  There's no way Carla could be taking care of all the kids right now.  It's kind of funny - I was supposed to be home alone all day, reading, relaxing, watching TV, whatever, and instead I'm in the caretaker's role.  I'm so thankful that whatever cocktail the docs gave me yesterday didn't screw with me like when I got my wisdom teeth out.  I was sick for days after that.  This time, I felt great as soon as I woke up.

Well, time for more Purel (I'm pretty sure Carla was touching this keyboard earlier) and hopefully everyone will go down for naps.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Hand's down the grossest post ever

Last night, Gracie, pretty explosive in the diaper area - definitely flu-like.  Crass but accurate, Carla and I kept saying, "Caroline's butt threw up again."

This morning, Carla and I were at the hospital at 7:30 to get my head cut open.  There was something growing out of it that they wanted to biopsy.  Turns out it was a lipoma, which is benign, which is good.  Mom couldn't watch the kids as planned b/c she, too, has the flu.  Aunt Ann came over to watch them and we took Walker to a teacher friend of Carla's house so he could get a ride to school.  The surgery went really fast and really well.  We were home before lunch and I, the epitome of anesthesia wusses, didn't feel even a little sick.

Tonight, after supper, Anderson, "My belly hurts," then off to play.  Five minutes later, back to the kitchen to throw up on the floor, twice.  Fifteen minutes later, "Can we have popcorn?"  45 minutes later, throwing up again.  Thirty seconds later, "Can I have some pretzels?"  Right now, bent over the bucket but unproductive so far.

Carla's feeling not-so-great now, too, and Ellie just buzzed by me on the way to the bathroom.  She said she felt like she was going to throw up, but she didn't.  Maybe it just seemed like the fashionable thing to do.

Nope, she's on the toilet.  Seems she may have gotten Caroline's version of things, out the out way, not out the in way.

What we have:
Carla - sickish
Me - sore head
Walker - fine
Ellie - getting sick?
Anderson - definitely sick
Caroline - better now, we think
Aunt Ann - very soon to be sick (sorry, Aunt Ann)

What we don't have:
2 parents sick at the same time (that's the worst)
Anyone "hospital sick"
Cancer (well, I guess that would actually be the worst)
It's definitely one of those times to count blessings.

Now, Anderson's being productive.

Saturday, February 26, 2011


When Walker gets really hungry, he says, "But, mom, I'm foodhydrated!"  One day Ellie was really thirsty, so she, of course, said, "Mom, I'm drinkhydrated!"

Caroline figured out how to dump her milk out of her sippy cup by turning it upside down and bending the nub on her tray.  She's dumped out two full cups already.  I guess it's time to take those away.  Some new words of hers are Ouch (more like "outh"), Reach (more like "each"), Stop It! (Dop it!), Ellie (Ey), and Andrea ("Dee Dee, rourourou," like a dog, 'cause Andrea has a dog, not because she's ugly).

Anderson wanted to start our game this morning so he said, "OK, the game starts, it's sixty-four o'clock!"  Then, he was scratching his legs so I asked him if they itched.  "Only my cheeky-bums."  After our game, I made him eggs for breakfast and he sang, "Mary had a yellow egg, Mary had a yellow egg, Hi-ho, the derry-o, Marry had a yellow egg."

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Just a typical Saturday

We had bagels for breakfast yesterday and Carla asked Anderson to take Ellie's plate over to her.  He, of course, didn't hold it steady and one fell off.  He said, "Sorry I dropped your goggle, Ellie."

Then, I took Walker and Ellie to Walker's basketball clinic, while Carla took the younger two to Caroline's first ever haircut.  While we were at Walker's basketball clinic, I asked El if she was going to play basketball when she was old enough.  Her response:  "Well, Dad, I'm not, like, really . . . into throwing things."  While the others were at Caroline's haircut, Anderson spun a barber chair in circles, chased it, yelled, "Get back here you stinkin' chair!", and cracked up at himself.

Then Carla took her 2 to the grocery market, the Y, then for a "washdown" (Anderson's term for a car wash), and I took the older 2 to Walmart, Green Farms, and a washdown.

Then, we came home for lunch, dropped the younger 2 off and took the older 2 ice skating.  As soon as Walker hit the ice, he started trying to sprint, which made him look like a cartoon cat trying to run away from a stack of acme TNT.  The only place he could was down.  Ellie was much more tentative, which means she was able to move a little more on the ice.  I kept telling Walker, "Lazy feet, walker, lazy feet."  It took him a solid hour to get what we were saying.  Carla mainly pushed a kid around the rink while I, not being able to bend over that far and keep my own balance, just held a kid's hand and provided soft landings for them.  By the time we were finishing up, Ellie was getting around pretty well by herself, no hand, no wall.  Walker was doing much much better, but still a little unstable.  He made the most progress, but Ellie's the better skater as of now.  She'll get better still, though, b/c we signed her up for ice skating lessons.  That, to my knowledge, does not involve throwing things.

Then, we went to Brown Bag Burger for supper (at about 3:45) and to Dick's for a new glove, spikes, and bat for Walker.  We got home around 6 and left again at about 7:30 to drop off Caroline at my mom and dad's and took the other 3 to Carla's aunt's for a surprise birthday party for her other aunt.  Someone had made a marshmallow-whipped cream-pudding-fruit mishmash.  When I grimaced when I saw it, Carla's aunt said, "What's the matter, you don't like pineapple?"

Sunday, February 6, 2011

All my Children

Every time Caroline takes something away from someone, she says, "My."  Today she said "Mo' money" plain as day.  And if she ever tells you "Eh-eh" or "Mm-mm," as in no, it actually means, "Yes, definitely."  She enjoys taking out every wipe from a baby wipes container or every sandwich bag from the box.  She likes going upstairs, standing beside Anderson's bed, and saying, "Hi.  Hi.  Hi.  Hi.  Hi.  Hi.  Hi.  Hi.  Hi," while he naps.  I'd have to say that her current favorite hobby, though, is saying "Up, up, up, up," until Carla picks her up, then pointing on the CD player until Carla turns on Josh Turner and dances with her.  As soon as the music comes on, Gracie lays her head on Carla's shoulder 'cause she's terrified of being swung around or dipped or something.  But she still enjoys the dance.  She also loves guns.  I think my one-year-old is cool.

Anderson likes playing soccer in the dining/toy room.  Whenever I score, the conversation goes like this:
Anderson:  Nice shoot, teammate!
Me:  Thanks, teammate.
Anderson:  You don't have to call me teammate.  I have to call you teammate.
Me:  Oh, OK.  Thanks, Anderson.
Anderson:  You don't call me Anderson, either.  You call me nothing.
Me:  Uh, OK.
I kick another goal.
Anderson:  Nice shoot, teammate!
And the whole thing starts again.

Ellie's the most stubborn little girl I've ever met.  She was dead-set against wearing her silver shoes to church today.  She came down with brown boots on, which didn't match at all (surprising for Ellie).
Me:  Well, your silver shoes would match your outfit much better than your brown boots because you have silver on your shirt.
Ellie:  Well, I don't want to wear them because they slip off my feet.
Me:  Well, you could just take them off when you get to Sunday School.
Ellie:  Well, I don't think we're allowed to do that.
Me:  Sure you are, El.
Ellie:  Well, another girl has the same shoes and she wears them every week.  And I think we might get them mixed up if I take mine off.
Me:  OK, then we'll put little 'E's inside your shoes so you won't get them mixed up.
Ellie:  Well, then they would make my tights dirty.
Me:  OK, fine.  What about some black shoes?  Those would match better than brown.
Ellie:  I have some black shoes with silver in them.
Me:  (For the love of God, woman, why didn't you just put them on in the first place?  You could have saved us a solid five minutes of negotiations!  Are you just practicing for when you're a teenager?  Am I going to have to have an arbitrator come in before every date you ever go on!?  Is this a precursor for a future conversation involving tattoos and body piercings? Why does my left arm tingle?)  Sounds good.

Walker is doing great in school, reading and mathing at advanced levels.  He's also still consistently putting on his shirts backwards and not caring about it.  I asked him what 20 - 14 was yesterday and he immediately told me 6 like I was an idiot.  Then Carla and I each told him twice to put on his socks and he sat there and stared at us and didn't process anything we said.  I think as long as he has someone around to dress him, he'll be wildly successful in his future endeavors.

Just for fun, I'll go . . . Packers, 21-17.  One of Pittsburgh's touchdowns will come from a sack/fumble by Polamalu.  It'll either be run right in or it will set them up with a very short field.  Clay Matthews will have an interception.  The Black Eyed Peas will be ignored by me.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Where's the white trash, Dad?

That's what Ellie just asked me.  I told her to throw something away and she was looking for our trash can, which happens to be white.  "Where's the white trash, Dad?  Did we get rid of the white trash?"

I don't want to insinuate anything, but the Brooklyn Brawler had just left the house.

Anderson was protesting Carla's dinner selection last night.
Anderson:  I'm a dog, and dogs don't eat that kind of noodles.
Carla:  Well, if you're a dog, you'll have to sleep outside in your doghouse tonight.
Anderson:  I'm . . . an inside dog.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Threribble Threes, and how to kill 6 hours at an airport

Anderson:  Dad, how do moms and dads get to school?
Me:  They drive their cars.
Anderson:  No, they ride in school buses.
Me:  No, but a grown up always drives the school bus for the kids.
Anderson:  Does Jesus live in the bus driver's heart?
Me:  Sure, if the bus driver loves Jesus, he lives in his heart.  Just like I love Jesus and he lives in my heart, and you love Jesus and he lives in your heart, right?
Anderson:  No.

Anderson was trying to put on Ellie's oven mitts as we were heading out the door yesterday.
Anderson:  Dad, can you help me put these on?
Me:  Why?
Anderson:  So I can punch you.

Anderson, to Ellie:  Don't unlock it again or I'm gonna wipe snot on your head!
I don't know what she was unlocking but I really hope she didn't do it again.

Oh, did I tell you about when I flew home from NY last week?  My flight was scheduled for 2 but it got canceled, do I didn't get in the air 'till 6:40-ish.  Here's a timeline:
12:20  Arrive at airport, return car, check on flight, find out the next one isn't 'till 6:15.
12:45 - 1:30  Wander around Syracuse airport looking for a good restaurant.
1:35  After realizing that there are only 4 restaurants in Syracuse airport, 2 of which are after security and one of which is only deli sandwiches, settle on Sbarro.  It's my first Sbarro experience ever.  Vow it will be my last.  Start reading paper while I eat.
2:00  Walk into the gift shop, realize that I [heart] NY T-shirts are $18 and not even applicable after a trip to

2:01  Decide the kids will get no gifts from this trip and leave the shop.
2:05  Go to the "Meditation Station" which is a row of chairs with indentations in the cushions and continue reading the paper.  Take 2 Excedrin.
3:00  After reading (REALLY reading) the whole paper, begin to wander again.
3:15  Realize that I've been talking to myself whilst wandering.
3:16  Look around to see if I'm being followed by TSA for wandering aimlessly in an airport talking to myself.
3:20  Try to look casual and pick up a cup of coffee and a consumers' report cars review at the magazine shop.  Notice that the magazine shop has a wide variety of adult magazines with only the titles showing.  One of them comes with 3 DVDs, each with a disgusting title.  Momentarily picture the skinny, pale-skinned fool who would buy that at an airport, immediately derive a nickname for the "Meditation Station" and turn my thoughts back to cars.
3:30  Headache's too bad to look at glossy (car) magazine pages.  At least I have a pretty good buzz going from 2 Excedrin and a cup of coffee.
3:35  Decide to head to security, noting that it is insanely early to do so but realizing I've exhausted every possibility on "the outside."  
3:38  Through security, having almost forgotten to remove my belt (like usual), but having avoided looking suspiciously jittery from my caffeine high.  This was the only time in my life that I had been hoping for a long line at security.  It is also the fastest I had ever made it through.
3:50  Find out the restaurant near my gate (the only one available now) is another Sbarro.  Talk to myself again, just one word, hope it was sufficiently muted.
4:00  Try the magazine again, still too glossy.  Switch to my book (The Hunters, W.E.B. Griffin).
4:30  Break my vow, buy a Sprite and a giant raisin cookie from Sbarro.  Take 2 more Excedrin and 2 Dramamine.  Think about when Carla smiles and rolls her eyes when I pronounce it "Dra-MAM-i-nee."  Think about how I'd be half-way home from Cleveland by now if my flight hadn't gotten canceled.  Make small talk with a guy who goes through that airport every week.  Hope I never go through any airport once a week.  Start reading again.
4:50  A group of people from work show up near my gate for a later flight to somewhere else.  I (barely) know them but join them for company and witty banter.
5:15  Note that I'm extremely hyped up on caffeine but also very sleepy from the Dramamine.  That is one weird feeling.
5:45  Head back to my gate.  We'll probably be boarding soon.  Headache finally going away.
6:10  Chat with a guy from Texas about the cowboys and browns.  Share a concerned moment when we realize it's 6:10 and we haven't even started boarding our 6:15 flight.  Figure we might be there a while.  Start to worry I'd be having bland, cold, overpriced pizza for supper that night.
6:20  Called to board.  Cool.
6:23  Sit down on the plane beside a thin, blond flight attendant who must be just going off-duty.  HE is very polite and speaks with a not-so-subtle effeminate charm.
6:30  To my minor relief, my new friend jumps (floats?) to the open row behind me just before the on-duty flight attendant does her seat check.
6:40-ish  In the air.  I request my usual Ginger Ale.  I get a whole can instead of the customary 1/3 of a can in a cup full of ice.  Best flight ever, I think, as I drift to a caffeine-and-Dramamine-induced-hyper-alert-sleep to the steady drum of the turboprop engines.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Wishing for a "Rainbow Day"

Out of no where, Ellie just shared the following most precious thoughts that must have been on her mind this morning.

Mom, I just can't stop thinking about Spring and Summer.  I think Spring is my favorite season.  Everything is just, just . . . so beautiful.  It's so fun to play outside on a rainbow day.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

What are these, fruit snack doughnuts?

That's what Ellie said when Carla gave her a couple Life Savers Gummies.

Welp, see you later.