Wednesday, September 24, 2008

I know what you're gonna say

You: Dude, where have you been? You haven't posted in like forever.
Me: I know, I'm sorry. I've been busy.
You: Too busy to take 5 minutes to immortalize your childrens' childrenhood?
Me: Well, I'm in school again, and it's really busy at work an-
You: Whatever. You know, I don't even check your blog anymore.
Me: I said I was sorry, ok? I'll try to post more often.
You: Whatever.
Me: What? Do you want me to quit my job and drop out of school so I can spend all my time writing?
You: Why can't you just post before you go to bed or something?
Me: No internet at my house. You know that. I complain about it all the time. I can only post at lunch time from work and I haven't had too many lunch times lately.
You: Sounds like a bunch of excuses to me. What else have you been up to besides not posting?
Me: I just told you.
You: Hgch. Ouch! Ah, crap! I just swallowed a marble.
Me: What? Why were you chewing on a marble?
You: That's my thing. It's what I do. Now I have to find a new marble.
Me: Umm, well, you could just wait until tomorrow at about this time . . .
You: That's gross. Don't talk to me anymore. Do you think the Browns will start Quinn this Sunday?
Me: . . .
You: Oh, real mature. Seriously.
Me: No, they'll stick with Anderson and they'll probably win a few games and they won't fire Romeo Crennell and they'll be mediocre for the next 3 years. Then just bad. Seriously, why do you chew on marbles?
You: My mom told me it would help me stop chewing on my nails when I was a kid and it just became habit.
Me: Your mom told you to chew on marbles when you were a kid? Was she trying to choke you?
You: I don't think so. No. Well . . . I guess that might explain why she kept spare anti-freeze in the fridge right beside the Ecto Cooler.
Me: I think there might be some issues there.
You: Yeah, well, that's a whole 'nother topic.
Me: A "whole 'nother"? Where'd you go to school?

Oh, that reminds me of a couple mis-sayings I've been hearing around work lately:
1. "Well, really it's six or a dozen."
2. "I don't want to beat this horse to death."

Walker and I went to the football game last Friday while Carla, Ellie, and Anderson went to friends' house for a camp fire. During half-time, the opposing team's band director was directing quite emphatically.
Walker: Dad, what's he DOING?
Me: Who?
Walker: That man doing the crazy things!

Also at the game, Walker: Dad, what's bigger, a hippo or a hippopotamus?
Me: They're the same thing. A hippo is a hippopotamus.
Walker: You mean like two words that mean the same thing?
Me: yep.
Walker: Oh, well, I like hippopotamus better because the potamus is funny.

And on the way home from the game:
Walker: Dad, you know when the leopards beat ravenna 29-15? How did Ravenna get 15? Did they get a touchdown and an extra point and then get another touchdown and miss the extra point and then get a safety? (yes, he seriously said that and yes, he's seriously 4).
Me: No, I think they got a two point conversion.
Walker: OH! (and then he nodded and smiled at me like 'that sounds much more feasible, why didn't I think of that?) So touchdown, extra point, touchdown, two point conversion?
Me, still amazed that he even remembered the score to the first game of the season: Yep.

Walker, to Carla, yesterday on a car ride: Mom, are Jesus and God the same bigness?

Ellie, mainly to herself, yesterday on the same car ride: Hey! Guess what frogs have? They have frog feet. So they can hop. AND, they can ribbit, like 'ribbit, ribbit, ribbit.' And they ribbit with their mouths.

Also, Anderson has been able to crawl for a few weeks now and he can say Mama, Dada, and bye-bye. But still no teeth.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Thing # 102 to do with a dead cat . . .

Bury it in the woods. It crawled under our sliding board sometime Monday and died (I maintain that I had absolutely nothing to do with it). Luckily, Kyle and Keely saw it before the kids did and warned us. I dug a hole in the woods and dumped the cat in. If I remember tonight, I'll dump a jar of pepper on top so nothing digs it up. Not the first cat I've buried at our house. Won't be the last.

In other news, we briefly had a dog. It showed up at our house a few days ago (we get a lot of dogs dropped off out there) and decided it was going to live there now. I couldn't chase it off no matter how much I yelled or what I threw at it. It was such a nice, quiet dog and so good around the kids that Carla considered keeping it. Walker was all for that, too. They even gave it a temporary name, "Scruffy," because it was obvious that it hadn't eaten in quite a while so it was really shaggy. So Carla called it Scruffy, Walker called it "Scarfy," and Ellie called it "Dog-o". I called it lots of things but I can't write any of them. In the end, we decided that it would be better for Kyle and Keely to take it and wait a little while before we get a dog of our own. Good looking dog, though. I have a picture of it, as well. I think I'll have to post a bunch of pictures soon.

In other other news, I was at Walmart early Saturday morning getting some milk when I heard, "clip, clip, clip." (Stacey or Steph, help me... how do you punctuate with quotation marks? is it "words". or "words." ? I also need help w/ commas) Anyway, sure enough, I looked over and there was a guy standing in the middle of the isle, clipping his finger nails - just letting them fly any which way. When he was done, he quietly put away his clippers and got right back to restocking the butter.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Next on my reading list . . .

There was a cat that Walker used to always see when he got out of the car at preschool but it wasn't there on Tuesday when he went in for his open house. Carla told me that much when I got home and then had Walker fill in the rest. She told him to tell me what he thinks happened to the cat. With a shrug he said, "Died up to Jesus Heaven."

I guess when he didn't see it, he matter-of-factly told Carla, "Huh, the cat must have died and goed up to heaven. Maybe there's a cat Jesus."

And, If I wasn't before, I'm definitely a yuppie now. For my birthday, Ellie got me some fancy whole-bean coffee and Walker got me a coffee press. They were both really excited to give them to me, even though they probably have no idea what any of it was. Walker also made me a new fishing lure. I'll have to post a pic, it's pretty cute . . .