Anatomy lesson

So we usually try to watch each triple crown race and the kids always divide up the horses to see which one wins.  Caroline got really into it this year and kept asking which horses were hers and what place they came in.  Fast forward to the presidential election, which Carla and I apparently referred to as a race.  We were discussing it during breakfast the morning after, and Caroline chimed in, "Is Barack Obama my horse?"

I was explaining to her that I'm a man and she's a girl and she said, "No, you're a boy and I'm a girl.  You don't have a hat on.  That means you're not a man."

Caroline:  I love pears.  Pears are my favorite apples.

Caroline, explaining that Uncle Kyle and Aunt Keely's dog sniffs everything:  Murphy smurfed a lot of stuff.

Caroline, grabbing my bare chest and apparently informing me that I need to work pecks a little more:  Your pwivates are wiggwy.  (So please, if Caroline tells you that her daddy's privates are wiggly, know that she's just talking about my moobs.)

And one from Anderson yesterday:  Is today the twenty-oneth?

Fuzzy babies

Caroline on how to take care of her baby dolls:  Sometimes when they get a little fuzzy you just pat their back like this and then they don’t get fuzzy anymore.

Caroline:  I really like dream lights.

Me:  Oh yeah?  Maybe you can ask Santa Claus for one for Christmas.

Caroline:  I don’t like him, but I do ask him for presents.

Caroline, when walking into the bathroom:  I’m gonna lock the door so you can’t see my privacy, dad.

Caroline, telling me what she just watched on TV:  Scooby Doo and the Vampirates.

I walked in when everyone was bowing their heads for prayer before a dinner of delicious chicken soup the other night and they were going around the table:

Walker:  Please be with Victor and his mom [Victor is a little boy we’re praying for]

Carla:  Ellie?

Ellie:  Please be with Victor and his mom and help them get the food they need.

Carla:  Anderson?
Anderson:  Please be with Victor and help him get medicine when he’s sick.

Carla:  Caroline?

Caroline:  Mommy, my hair is wet from my soup!

Anderson, randomly:  Why isn’t it Monsday like Tuesday and Wednesday?  It should be Monsday.

We drove by a giant inflatable Brutus at a car dealership and Caroline noticed it.

Caroline:  Dad, it’s Brutus, just like on Anderson’s hat!

Me:  Yep, Brutus the Buckeye.

Caroline, matter-of-fact:  Butt is not a nice word, but we can call him Brutus the Butt Guy.

Earring mittens

So just like Ellie, Caroline got her ears pierced for her 3rd birthday.  I'll let you decide who did better:

Yeah, we're pretty sure that was the same teddy bear so, gross.  Anyway, Caroline refused to cry but she was pretty offended that those girls would do that to her.  As one of the assaulters was putting on her latex gloves, Caroline looked at me and said, "Are those her earring mittens?"

Bs and Ps are still a little tough for her.  She still says "pecause" and she still calls her bath robe a rope.  The other day she also said that she doesn't like ketchup or "bustard".  She does, however, like to eat a "vitium" to stay healthy.

Ellie's starting to rub off on her, too, because she suddenly has a very keen fashion sense.  One night she said, "Dad, that jammy shirt is not a jammy shirt.  It's a clothes shirt."

Bubble Cheeks

Caroline's recap of Bob and Brittani's wedding reception:  Mom, at the weal wecetion, your face was like this (grimaces) and dad's face was like this (smiles) and you had a dress on and dad had a like a fancy shirt on then you were dancing with both hands and people were dancing like crazy and daddy loves you and he likes you and when the dance was over he gave you a big hug.

Caroline:  Mom, does God and Jesus have bubbles on their cheeks like Santa Claus?  You know, those things on their cheeks like when daddy uses his shaver?

Caroline, in the middle of the night after waking up with cold:  I have yucky slobber coming out my nose!

Caroline, after Anderson hit her:  Dad, Anderson hurt me.  He doesn't get Pwigewees!  (She was trying to say privileges).

Caroline, watching me replace the batteries in her camera:  My camera works after you scwoove it with your screwdriver.

Anderson, watching a commercial on TV:  Mom, Stompies come with a sixty day dollar back!

Also, Anderson was a dancing maniac at the wedding reception.  I knew he had energy but I didn't know he had that much!  If we ever get our hands on the video, we'll post it here or on Facebook.  Anderson, Ellie, and Walker all did a really nice job at the ceremony and the reception.  We partied 'till Ellie made a bed for herself out of some chairs and went to sleep, then Walker asked me to take him to the car so he could sleep there while we finished the reception.  Anderson was still dancing, though.  Bob and Brittani did pretty well too.

Status update #@winkyfaceemoticon

Caroline, marching in place:  Mom, Ellie said Left Right Left Right and I go hup two fwee four!
Carla:  Oh, you're marching in place.
Caroline:  No, this is marching in place [marches in place], this is stomping [marches in place], and this is hup two fwee four [marches in place].

I grilled a pineapple yesterday to go with dinner.  Walker walked in and said, "This chicken looks disgusting!"

Caroline was watching me shave this morning and said, "Dad, kids can't touch your sharp thing or it will turn into a shark and bite them like a shark.  Or it will turn into a shark or a snake or a cow."

Also, a while ago she was watching me shave (MY FACE!) and she got "beard" and "whiskers" mixed up and said, "Dad, are you shaving your beavers?"

She's also been potty trained for a while now.  Pretty much did that on her own. She also still says Mangoldoodw for Magnadoodle.

Ellie's losing teeth left and right and becoming a pretty good little piano player.  She can flash a pretty nasty attitude once in a while but she's usually a sweetheart.  Except for when she's being a tattletale, which is a lot.

Anderson's still violent but he's the most generous, selfless kid I've ever known.  He shares or gives away anything without reservation just because he knows it'll make someone happy.  Then he kicks them.  We're thinking of putting him in Tae Kwon Do when soccer's over.

Walker's just doing his thing, playing soccer and baseball and being completely consumed with sports of any kind.  The Olympics was a pretty big event in our house this year.  He's the opposite of Anderson in that he thinks the world revolves around him but he is for the most part a decent human being.

Quick Quotes

Anderson was having a snack of vegetables one night this week and he walked over to me with his celery:  Technical Dad, I want peanut butter on these.

Caroline:  Dad, where is Ellie's purple purse are is?

Not sure if I ever wrote this but Caroline says "ayms" for arms and "nighkdown" for nightgown.

Carla tried a new recipe with the kids and they voiced their displeasure before trying it.  After they all finally tried it and liked it, Carla said, "See?  Maybe next time I make something new, you can try it instead of freaking out."
Caroline's reply:  I'm not freakin' out.  I'm freakin' good.
Anderson:  Do you mean like freaking out good or freaking out bad?
Caroline:  No, I'm just freakin' good.

The backup dad

We finally saw some offense when we went up to an Indians game!  12-3, 2 3-run home runs.  The only problem was that it was very hot.  Oh well, the shade eventually found us and made it bearable.  Also, it sure is nice that the Pro has low-carb popcorn, low-carb orange crush, and low-carb lemonade.  And we stopped at Danny Boys on the way home for low-carb deep-dish pizza and low-carb rat pack red.  Then we watched the real fireworks show in the sky with some friends and it never really even rained on us.  And no one threw up, so good day.

Carla explained the idea of a stepfather to Anderson and Ellie because someone on their team has one.  I don't know the kids name.  Let's go with Elmer.  A few days later Carla called Elmer's step-dad his dad and Anderson said, "No, that's not his dad.  That's his backup dad."

Also, we bought brown eggs and when Anderson saw them he said, "Are those chocolate eggs?"